Fast forward 4 years: What was meant to be a symbol of a life-altering decision that would encompass both where I'd come from and where I was going is now just a sign of where I had been, but no longer am. A silent nod to my 21-year-old-self. At the time, I simply could not fathom getting to a point where that symbol would lose its siginificance. Now, do I regret my tatoo? No. Would I do it again? Yes. Am I proud when I explain why a highway 45 sign is inked into my back? um...not exactly.
Which brings me to the real question of the day (for all you married people out there) How do you decide to commit the rest of your life to that one special person???
Yes, I know that you have to feel ready, that you're in luuuve and you want this with all of your heart. That's basically how I felt about getting my tatoo. But feelings change. So once the cake is eaten and the presents are unwrapped, where is the guaruntee?
How can you be certain the person who stood beside you at the alter is the one you'll want beside you for the rest.of.your.life? That you'll have the exact same feelings about this person 50 years from now that you have in this moment? Or... do you? I sure hope not. Cuz how boring would THAT be?! People who aren't dead have this tendancy to grow and change. This means marriage is a journey- one that does not come with a GPS. So the divorce rate for new marriages is somewhwere around 50% in this country, which leaves me wondering, how DO you know that you know?
(disclaimer: while I happen to be in a relationship at the moment this blog is in no way meant to be a reflection of that and does not represent the views of second parties or any parties thus affiliated. It is intended for entertainment purposes only and any depiction of real people, places, or scenarios is entirely coincidental. If you are still reading this you either have really good eyesight or a very strong prescription for your glasses.)
2 comments:
Oh Leah, the answer to this is long and complicated, so I'll just give you the short answer: You just know.
I feel like if someone has ANY doubt in their mind, they aren't ready. As a person who is both married and inked (I have 3!), it was a much easier decision to pick the husband than it was to pick the tattoo designs.
P.S. I still love both.
Good questions. How do you know who to make that forever commitment to? Well, it's the person you honestly think you couldn't live without. The person you want to laugh with, cry with, yell at, be silent with, see the world with, have a quiet night at home with, give your burdens to and take the burdens from. It's the person who makes you a better you. Your feelings WILL change. You won't feel the same way about someone after 12 and 1/2 years (I can't speak to 50, so I'm drawing on my own experience) that you felt at the beginning. Sometimes you will feel better about that person and sometimes you will feel worse. But, mostly, you will just feel different towards them at different phases of your relationship. But as far as the commitment goes, you decide that BEFORE you even decide who the lucky man is. You make a commitment to yourself and to the Lord to stick with it NO MATTER WHAT! And then, when you do pick out the lucky guy, you talk about that with him, and make sure he's on board with that idea. And then, when you finally make the commitment, you go into every disagreement, every "lull," every difficulty, knowing that you must work through it, because getting out isn't an option. And you pray. A lot.
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