Ok so these might not be keys, as much as guidlines. Wedding planning can be a lot of fun, but it can also turn in to a juggling stress-fest. These are just some things I learned from planning mine.
1. Realize "Wedding" is 40 Billion dollar a year industry. In fact, just adding the word wedding to something seems to jack up the price by 1/3. At the end of the day the vendors need make a profit so they can run their buisiness. Magazines, bridal expos, and “helpful” websites will try to convince you that you can’t possibly get married without an event planner, monogrammed napkins & matching RSVP cards. People have been getting married for thousands and thousands of years without all this frou frou and fanfare. Fast forward to the 21st centery and now all the sudden you need 2-3 photo sessions so you can “bond” with your photographer. Spend some time thinking about what you want (and don’t want!) out of the day. What does the wedding mean to you/r fiancé? What are yall trying to accomplish? What are the non-negotiables, and would make you really dissapointed?? More importantly, ask these same questions, only substitute the word marriage for the word wedding- and you’ll be in much better shape.
2. Strategize Every ceremony is made up of this equation (2 people+1 officiant) X venue= wedding. Everything else is just added to that foundation. Start from the center and work your way out. What are your perameters in terms of time, money, and effort? We had 4 months to put this together. Given that I was also looking for a new job and needed to make arrangements to move right after the wedding, I had a lot of my plate. So did my mother, who was opening a new clinic. My fiance and his plate lived 4 hours away, in another state. Neither of us could plan an elaborate event from scratch, nor did we want to. Small, Simple & Soon quickly became our wedding mantra. I strongly reccomend having a wedding mantra. It makes decisions so much easier. Get an all- inclusive wedding package at the venue? (wedding packages are your FRIEND!!!!) Yes, please! Adding an extra page to the programs for a closing prayer- no, thanks. It comes down to having a game plan or criteria with which you and your fiance make decisions.
1. Realize "Wedding" is 40 Billion dollar a year industry. In fact, just adding the word wedding to something seems to jack up the price by 1/3. At the end of the day the vendors need make a profit so they can run their buisiness. Magazines, bridal expos, and “helpful” websites will try to convince you that you can’t possibly get married without an event planner, monogrammed napkins & matching RSVP cards. People have been getting married for thousands and thousands of years without all this frou frou and fanfare. Fast forward to the 21st centery and now all the sudden you need 2-3 photo sessions so you can “bond” with your photographer. Spend some time thinking about what you want (and don’t want!) out of the day. What does the wedding mean to you/r fiancé? What are yall trying to accomplish? What are the non-negotiables, and would make you really dissapointed?? More importantly, ask these same questions, only substitute the word marriage for the word wedding- and you’ll be in much better shape.
2. Strategize Every ceremony is made up of this equation (2 people+1 officiant) X venue= wedding. Everything else is just added to that foundation. Start from the center and work your way out. What are your perameters in terms of time, money, and effort? We had 4 months to put this together. Given that I was also looking for a new job and needed to make arrangements to move right after the wedding, I had a lot of my plate. So did my mother, who was opening a new clinic. My fiance and his plate lived 4 hours away, in another state. Neither of us could plan an elaborate event from scratch, nor did we want to. Small, Simple & Soon quickly became our wedding mantra. I strongly reccomend having a wedding mantra. It makes decisions so much easier. Get an all- inclusive wedding package at the venue? (wedding packages are your FRIEND!!!!) Yes, please! Adding an extra page to the programs for a closing prayer- no, thanks. It comes down to having a game plan or criteria with which you and your fiance make decisions.
3. Prioritize & personalize. Even Prince William & Kate had a budget for their wedding. The list of things you may or might want to include on your day can go on forever and includes such things as a dove release, professional calligrapher, or unity candle. But what elements are most important to you? That's where you'll want to spend the bulk of your budget. Just know that it WILL have ramifications down the road. In economics this is called opportunity cost, because that budget works like a pie, not an all- you-can-eat- buffet. The more money you spend in one area, the less you can use on something else. That $15,000 dress might end up costing you a 3 tiered cake- are you ok with a cupcake tree instead? Plan this out (on paper-using actual numbers!) and leave some room for additions/last-minute suprises. Be flexible enough to cut some items, but get creative & keep an open mind. You and your fiance are creating an event together, and the day should be a relfection of your taste, style, interests, and experiences. I couldn't have a live band at the reception AND get the strings quartet I always wanted to round out the ceremony- we used the DJ which came with the wedding package and got a strings trio once I realized the price and travel fees involved. We also used a talented group of student musicians rather than hiring a pro (ditto for the engagement pics) and were quite pleased with the results. We cut out the seating charts, unity candle, recieving lines, and newspaper announcement. Remember its yalls day.
4. Organize. What changes in your schedule/routine will yall need to make to accommodate all the time you will spend on ‘wedding stuff’? Your weekends will get booked very quickly, so don't make a lot of plans. Remember to sync up schedules with your fiance and keep everyone in the loop. Next decide who will be doing what. Which items do you need to hire a professional for? There is no right or wrong answer, just do what works for you & make sure you get a signed contract for each vendor. Will you be outsourcing by ordering those party favors, or will you set aside time to make them yourself? Plan ahead for realistic DIY projects so you have all the supplies and materials lined up ahead of time. Not so crafty? Ordering online saves a TON of time. We mostly went with plain white stuff and just added ribbons in our wedding colors to everything. Ribbons (or yellow flowers, or seashells) are waaay cheaper than special ordering, and the end result still looks cute. Go for chohesive and coordinated to pick up the theme. PS wedding websites are free to set up and can also help with the planning. Wedding wire comes with an app and checklists that can really help. Online or by hand, make sure to map out a detailed itenerary, checklist, playlist, and description of who is doing what.
5. Verbalize. Communication is critical. If it’s vendors, in-laws, or navigating budgets with the fam, listen to what they can realistically do (“The tailoring takes at least 3 weeks and of course we can special order this dress in another color- it will arrive the week before your wedding” ummmm-NO!) and be clear about your expectations and timelines. Don’t be afraid to ask or speak up if you have a question about something & get everything in writing. Don’t assume people know what they are “supposed” to do on the big day. Each wedding is different and traditions vary from region, cultures, and faith. It’s much easier to deal with an information over-share than to not know about something and miss an important detail.
5. Verbalize. Communication is critical. If it’s vendors, in-laws, or navigating budgets with the fam, listen to what they can realistically do (“The tailoring takes at least 3 weeks and of course we can special order this dress in another color- it will arrive the week before your wedding” ummmm-NO!) and be clear about your expectations and timelines. Don’t be afraid to ask or speak up if you have a question about something & get everything in writing. Don’t assume people know what they are “supposed” to do on the big day. Each wedding is different and traditions vary from region, cultures, and faith. It’s much easier to deal with an information over-share than to not know about something and miss an important detail.
6. Scrutinize other weddings. You probably have friends, coworkers, or cousins who just got back from their honeymoon or are in the middle of planning it. Draw from their experiences and commiserate with their missteps. Which elements did you like? What things could you copy from them or adapt? First weddings in a family tend to have a lot of ‘mistakes’ because people under-estimate the amount of planning and time needed. By watching some of my friend’s wedding videos I realized several things I thought I’d like might not be such a good idea. I also saw things I’d need to plan for that never even occured to me. Unless you or your guy have been in a lot of weddings, you might not know all the ins and outs to the day. Google ettiquett/wedding/survival advice!
Also, former brides tend to have a LOT of wedding stuff. (Anyone need 20 purple poufy bows? 15 large center pieces? Chair covers??) One day I'm going to create a warehouse where brides can stockpile all their unneeded wedding accessories for other brides to use. But untill then don't be afraid to trade, borrow, or barter for what you need. One of my photographer friends shot a wedding, for free, and in return she was able to get a very pricey artist to do hers. Last but not least, if there's a need, pass on any of your stuff to another bride. It's called Karma.
Also, former brides tend to have a LOT of wedding stuff. (Anyone need 20 purple poufy bows? 15 large center pieces? Chair covers??) One day I'm going to create a warehouse where brides can stockpile all their unneeded wedding accessories for other brides to use. But untill then don't be afraid to trade, borrow, or barter for what you need. One of my photographer friends shot a wedding, for free, and in return she was able to get a very pricey artist to do hers. Last but not least, if there's a need, pass on any of your stuff to another bride. It's called Karma.
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